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tatteredstylo

My Crystal Ball Needs a Polish

As people who work in the hospitality industry, we've had to become adept at anticipating people's needs often before they even know they need that particular thing. In my job, this is simply known as "Good service". If for example, you are sitting at your table today enjoying your lunch, I may bring you a set of condiments based on the meal you have ordered. If I walk past your table and your drink is two-thirds empty, I will offer you a new one. These are often ways in which we predict people's needs or behaviour in order to provide our guests with the best experience possible.


Sidenote: If you are out for a drink with a group of your mates and you file into a toilet one by one like lemmings entering a cave; you're probably doing drugs together... Yes, I saw you, yes, I know, and you can bet I'm about to send someone in there to break up the party... How do I know? Because I have learned to watch out for and predict people's behaviour... You aren't fooling anyone Kevin from sales who comes in for a pint on a Friday night and develops a child-sized bladder after an hour; requiring you to go to the toilet every twenty minutes for the next three hours.


Sometimes, however, there are things people expect me to know that are beyond the realms of even the best hospitality managers out there (not claiming to be one) just saying even the very best cannot know some of the things people expect us to.


Example one:


A rather smartly dressed lady walks in one day, walks up to the host stand, and says to me "Good evening, I have a table booked this evening"

"Excellent!" I reply "And what name is it booked under?"

lady: "Me, my name"

*Insert long pause*

"And... What?... IS your name madam?"

The lady pauses for a moment, stares at me blankly for a split second, and then laughs.

"Oh, of course, it's Hannah, my name is Hannah". She makes an embarrassed smile as if realising that perhaps it was a little unreasonable or just a tad dopey to not realise of the 87 people booked in my restaurant this evening, I did now know by mere sight her name.


"Perfect, I can see your booking, come this way!" I tootle off with menus in hand and seat the lady. on my way back down to the host stand, I chuckle to myself and shake my head.


Example two:

At the weekend we are in the very fortunate position of always being extremely busy, so busy in fact that we often have to turn people away after seating as many "walk-ins" as we can. Walk-ins to clarify are folks who haven't booked a table but if there are empty tables you can, of course, seat them. This particular day was a Saturday, and we were heaving, absolutely heaving. An older gentleman and a lady approached me, and I greeted them in my usual friendly tone "Hello there!" I said cheerfully. "Do you have a table booked with us today"

"NO!" snapped the older gentleman "I do not! But I'll be having one for two people". He folded his arms as he said this and stood rather menacingly staring me down.

I turned around and looked at the computer, I had one last table left - now, I usually use this at an emergency table if something goes wrong and I can't get another table back in time. I didn't have to give him the table, and to be totally frank I felt like sending him packing purely on the basis of the rude way in which he had spoken to me. But I looked at the sweet older lady next to him, who was looking at me with hope. As I made eye contact with her, she spoke "I love it here" she said, "I thought we should probably book, I do hope you can fit us in lovey". My concrete-encased heart cracked slightly, and I said, "I have one last table, I can give you that? If you'd like to come this way?"

"Good." said the older gentleman (playing fast and loose with the word "gentleman" here). "Because it's her Birthday today and you'd have messed it up otherwise," he said to me sternly.

Now I never advocate in any way being rude to people, but what you will definitely know if you have dealt with the public is sometimes you reach a point - rather like a bucket so full of water it's about to overflow where you just snap.

"Oh, and did you forget? her Birthday I mean?" I said

the man looked confused "no?" he said

"Oh" I replied "only a special day like this lovely ladies Birthday seems like something you BOOK for, doesn't it? You know? So that YOU don't mess up her day" I said curtly throwing his own words back at him.

The man's mouth dropped open slightly and I walked him to the table. He was as nice as pie after this interaction and I am pleased to say was a lot more humble and pleasant with the servers. On the way out he side glanced me at the host stand and said "thank you, love."

"You're most welcome" I replied in a deliberate "upbeat" tone.


Was I expected to know that this man was going to come in today and that it was his wife's Birthday? Am I supposed to keep all of my tables spare in case everyone decides it's important to visit today but not tell me!?


Example Three:

Much like the first example this is another gem. A couple walk in and approach the host stand with their two young children in tow.

The man: "Hi we have a table booked, it's under.... Is it under your name?" he turns to the lady,

The lady: "Yes it's under my name" she state

The man: "Yeah it's under her name."

Me: I look at the computer screen and I have six booking due in now, one that is running late form the last time slot that isn't here and three in the next time slot, of those ten bookings six of them are women's names and three are for four or more people... I am unable to guess which one is hers. I turn back to them, smile politely and ask "And so is anyone going to tell me her name?"

The man "Oh right, yeah, erm... Caroline... Caroline Jones"

The lady (at the same time as the man) "It's Caroline Jones"

Me: "Thank you! come through."

Once again on my way back to the host stand, I shake my head and chuckle once more in a mixture of both amusement and utter despair.



Things I learned from these Experiences:


  1. I appear to be expected to carry around a crystal ball at all times, and it seems to have to be always polished and ready to go.

  2. While you may be tempted to send someone packing because they've been rude to you, try and always be professional and override your instincts.

  3. No matter how hard you stare at the bookings system, it will never be able to match someone's name to the face or faces standing in front of you, not least without breaking several data protection laws and searching social media photos.

  4. The walk back to the host stand after dropping people off at their table is one of the most internally cathartic and funny parts of my day.



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