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tatteredstylo

Name Badges, Chefs & Rejection!

Updated: Jul 24, 2022




"Hi, I know I said you were coming for a trial shift on Saturday, but can you start tonight instead?" Oh, how little did I know that this very phone call would set a career-long precedent!



My mother drove like a mad woman down the motorway to get me to my trial shift. I nervously walked in and was met by the man who had interviewed me, he introduced me to my colleagues and I was buddied up with the Host for the day. He was a quiet and kind man, seemed humble and not much older than myself. As he introduced me to various members of the team he eventually arrived outside the kitchen. The Kitchen... Anyone who has ever worked in any form of hospitality knows the kitchen is the place it all goes down, the loudest often brash and the most unsocialized of our entire industry dwell for many long, arduous, and sweltering hours in this place just beyond the set of doors just past your table. Little, shy, possibly lived in a sheltered cave me, was about to get the shock of my life. My new colleague introduced me and what I can only describe as a seemingly ravenous and baying mob of men eyed me up. "oh fresh meat!" exclaimed one, and "she's young too!" exclaimed another. I've often felt over the years that chefs behave in a way long considered unacceptable to most workplace establishments. Yet somehow they seem to get away with it. They were however a really nice bunch, and beyond the bravado and sometimes inappropriate honesty when they tell you a little too much about their lives, they were a group of men far more hard working than average folks.


One of the things I've never liked is wearing a name badge. Although well intentioned, name badges don't always foster the right time of attention you'd want; especially as a young woman. If I had a pound for every time someone flirted, or asked me on a date, or just smarmily acted like we've known one another for years by using my name I'd be... well... able to earn a living just writing this blog!




The first gentleman of alarm, visited several times a week with his father, brother, and sister-in-law. All were well over the age of 45 and yet his family, most notably his father and brother one day hatched a plan to get us on a date. I was always raised to be polite and made genuine conversation with all of my patrons; or at least all of the ones who looked up from their latest smartphone to acknowledge my existence anyway. These particular folks had a family dynamic I never could quite make out, they appeared from things they said to all live together in one home, and this particular day they announced triumphantly that I should "Go on a date


" with their self-described awkward brother. This gentleman although I am sure lovely was easily 26 or more years my junior (absolutely no judgment on age gap relationships) however I was 19, and neither wanted to be in a relationship with him nor found him attractive. This was about to be another first for me courtesy of my newfound career: Rejecting someone politely, while trying hard not to A: not draw the attention of other diners, and B: Let them down in a way that spared both their and my embarrassment. Mr jogging bottoms however was not taking my subtle hints, only made worse by the fact that neither were Mr Jogging Bottoms brother nor father... Jogging bottom's sister-in-law seemed to spend a long time staring into space at the table and was of absolutely no use when I, on one occasion looked at her for some kind of silent cry for help. "I'm terribly sorry" I spluttered nervously trembling more than I had in my interview for the job in the first place. "I don't want a relationship right now, I want to focus on my career because I'm only 19" I tried. Fortunately, my boss had now overheard what was going on and politely yet firmly told "The Jogging Bottom's Family" to desist from propositioning his newest staff member.




Things I learned from these experiences:

  1. Chefs are (mostly) all talk, and although a professional kitchen seems intimidating at first chefs are someone the most hard-working people you will ever meet.

  2. Name badges are a nightmare that brings a ton of unwanted attention and their negatives far outweigh their positives; especially for a 19-year-old woman.

  3. Rejecting people politely and without a scene is nothing less than a superpower that I would have to hone swiftly to survive my new job.


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